Talking 'bout the weather

Random thought for the week: why is talking about the weather such a negative thing?  Sure, it's cliche, but hell, sometimes cliches are cliches for a reason: they work.


Example: the weather.  Why is it such a conversation starter?  For me, several factors play into it.  One: it's something everyone understands.  Or fails to understand, as the case may be.  Which leads to the second factor: humans like to complain.  At least, I think so.  Seems like most of our topics of conversation are on what we do or don't have, how others don't do things right (government and religon, anyone?  Not to mention co-workers), and so on.  Plus, we add in the final factor that weather is constantly changing, thus making it interesting.  Sure, we can say, "Yeah, that's typical of Seattle" but if that's the case, how are we always so damned surprised or annoyed when it rains for the fifth time that week?


And that's all I got.

Support

So it's time for me to go LiveJournal on this bitch.

I'm depressed.  It makes sense for a lot of reasons: I'm almost done with college, I'm taking my first really difficult classes in what seems like forever, I have a family history of it, my friends are graduating this year, I'm not sure what I'm going to do after college, I have a lot on my plate at the moment what with 3 classes, 2 plays (one of which is extremely depressing), a job and a partridge in a pear tree, I've had repeated failures even entering the dating world recently, sometimes I miss China...the list goes on.

And yet, the one thing that I know I should do (seek friends out for support), I can't.  Maybe it's because I don't build a lot of friendships in the first place.  Well, at least, not outside of certain spheres.  I like a lot of people and consider myself "friends" with them...but I never seek interaction outside of specific situations like school, work, plays, etc.  It's the way I am; I make no apologies.  But you'd think I'd be able to call up some of my closest friends (or hell, even my ROOMMATES whom I do see on a regular basis) and say, "I'm feeling depressed.  Can you help me?"

Is it because I'm independent?  Do I want to fix all my problems on my own?  Or is it because, as per my usual manner, I don't like imposing on people if not absolutely necessary?  Not sure.  All I know is, I am uncomfortable asking for help in situations like this.

Then here's the fun thing: if I'm not comfortable expressing my feelings in this manner, why the HELL am I writing about it on a blog, probably one of the most public things a person can ever do?

The answer, as far as I can figure it out, is two-fold.  Despite the internet telling everyone, it doesn't address anyone specifically.  I am, therefore, informing rather than asking for help.  A slight distinction, but my mind apparently is making it.  The second part...there's no dialogue.  It's all me.  I don't have to listen to responses unless someone decides to comment, and even then, I can ignore/erase them at my leisure.  I have control, something that is important right now.

So yeah, there it is.  Thought you should know.

-David

Since I'm not going to do homework tonight

I thought I'd share some things with the internet.

In the last two weeks, I've had the privilege of working with one Mr. Stewart Stern, screenwriter of works such as Rebel Without a Cause and Sybil.  While I cannot discuss what exactly went on in the classroom because of a promise I made at the beginning of the quarter about keeping it a safe zone, I will say this: in order to make us better writers, Stewart had us look at our own pasts and what troubles we had.  In doing so, I realized something important about myself.

I stopped after my fallout with my father.

Looking back, I can say now that my writing really slowed after I had my quote-unquote "nervous breakdown" when all the feelings I had about my father came rushing to the forefront.  I say quote-unquote because, to be honest, I don't know what constitutes a nervous breakdown.  I do know that I couldn't function for a good long while and I was sitting and crying like I had been told that someone in my family had just died.  Until recently, I felt like I had since moved on from my issues with my dad and it didn't matter anymore.  Then other problems started coming up: I wasn't writing anymore, I didn't have much motivation to do anything, and I started to put more and more emphasis on finding a relationship, even though I was less and less comfortable with being open with people. 

In essence, I was running on autopilot.

I don't know whether realizing this helps anything.  I do know that by recognizing this, I have some new things to try with my writing.  I feel like I've opened up more emotionally.  Hopefully, this will make a difference in the future because, right now, I need to make some serious changes to my life style.  I can't be the person I have been.  I need to grow stronger; otherwise, I think I'll stop growing and just be satisfied with whatever comes easy.  I didn't like that before; I shouldn't like it now.

David

Two days, two interesting experiences

So yesterday, I was at work at the IMAX, waiting for the previous show to get out so I could let the new one inside.  It's my job; it's what I do.  Anyway, about 40 minutes before the show gets out, I hear a couple coming down the ramp.  As I listen, I start to wonder: "Is that Mandarin Chinese?"  Once they reached the bottom, I could see they were indeed Asian, but it would be bad of me to simply assume that they were speaking Mandarin because they looked the part.  After all, they could be any generation of Americans and not know a lick of Chinese.  In fack, the guy had almost no foreign accent.  So I answered their questions and they went off a little bit.  But as they went off, I began to listen again, and they were speaking Mandarin!  So, in an effort to be polite, I asked them what language they were speaking.  They told me Mandarin, and the next thing out of my mouth was the Mandarin phrase, "You can speak Mandarin?"

From there, we had a half an hour conversation almost entirely in Chinese about China, my experiences there, the woman's life there, her job as a teacher of Mandarin, and why I chose to study.

It was glorious.  I understood almost everything.  And really, that's why I took the language. :)

Bad part of China; it has somewhat made me immune to sirens.  I swear, I did not even consciously hear the siren of the ambulance until someone pointed it out to me as I'm halfway into the street with it coming down the hill.  I didn't even notice!  I felt like such a jackass, but I remembered that in Suzhou, we'd often hear sirens, but we could still cross the streets simply because the streets were so full of cars, there was no way for the ambulance to drive through them.

A bit of a reverse culture shock there.

Today was a good day

It really, truely was an excellent day.  Despite drinking last night, I woke up with almost no hangover this morning.  I also got a good night sleep, something I've been lacking a lot recently.  I relaxed at home until I went out later.

Why did I go out later?  Because I had to dress up as the Joker.  OBVIOUSLY.

Okay, sarcasm aside, I did actually dress up as the Joker to help promote the Dark Knight's return to IMAX.  Dressing up like this is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and I finally had the resources and time to do it.  Plus, I got PAID to do it.  It would have been a bit more fun if it hadn't been strictly for advertising...but that's where the future comes in, no?

Quick pic of it

After doing that for a couple of hours, walking up and down downtown and Capitol Hill, I returned home, got all washed up...and went to Video Games Live! with Coran.

HOLY HANNA!  I've been waiting for this concert for FOUR years, people.  FOUR YEARS.  I heard about it right after it left Seattle, and when I chose Seattle U, I thought for sure that it was going to return soon.  I was so very, very, very wrong...very wrong.  You have to understand this about me: I love video game music.  I've been an advocate for it since I was a young child.  This is an event where I am around other people who think the same as me.  I get to listen to an ORCHESTRA play MY kind of music for two hours.  This event was quite possibly made for me.  And it did not disappoint.  It was AMAZING.  My ONLY complaint is that there was no Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross music.  To make up for that, though, they premired their Metroid set, had tons of Final Fantasy music, and, oh yeah, that guy who did the Mario songs blindfolded?  Yeah, he was there on stage as well.  Even more exciting: they said at the end, very quickly, "See you next year!"  Next year?  NEXT YEAR?!  YEEEEE-HAAAAAW!!

Then I came home and played Skies of Arcadia.

Life...is a many splendored thing.

So here's me...in life...trying to write a blog again.

It's so strange that this is more difficult to write in America than to write in China.  I suppose part of it has to do with that "awww, but it's not EXOTIC" thing that we all do.  Also, when you do things that don't seem out of the ordinary, then it doesn't occur to you to write them.  At least, that's my case.

Regardless!  Here's some news for those of you interested.

-I've just dyed my bangs.  It looks very interesting.  I like it so far, but we'll see how everything turns out in the long run.

-I'm working at the IMAX again.  Pretty good, really.  Met the new workers, and most of them are pretty chill.  And hey, I like the job.

-Classes are going well.  One class a day seems to work really well for me.  And I don't mind the longer classes sessions...well, for the most part.

-Oh my goodness, NEW COMPUTER.  I love this thing so very much.  The screen is beautiful, the hard drive is huge, and it just makes me happy.

Um, that's really all for now.  I'll try to get back into the swing of things with this as soon as I can.

-David

Oh. My. Goodness.

Where has this summer gone?

I haven't updated this in a long time for several reasons. One is because I've been too damn busy. Two jobs and a play have really taken it out of me. I'm enjoying having the money, of course, and acting is fulfilling for its own benefit...but that does not change the fact that I'm damn tired. My sleep schedule has also been completely screwed over by all of these events, namely the release of The Dark Knight. Have I said what my two jobs are? One is the same school job I've had all along. The other is working at the IMAX. So yeah. When Dark Knight came out, my life kind of fell apart. Working until 3 AM, getting up again at 8 to go to work/go to a play. Where did my free time get to? Sorry, I'll stop griping. I know other people have it worse; I just wasn't expecting to have everything get all wonky.

The other reason I haven't updated is because when I upgraded my Firefox to 3.0, I lost ALL my bookmarks, including this one. I operate on the internet rather strangely; if it's not in my bookmarks, I don't check it very often, or at all. So when it went poof, I kinda forgot about doing this. Forgive me.

Anywho, to my two friends who check this blog: are we going PAX'ing this year? I want to. I just don't want to go alone.