Radio Play

On Saturday, I had my first experience with a recording studio.  To give greater context to the importance of this particular event, those who know me fairly well know that one of my life's ambitions is to be a voice actor.  I love working with my voice, creating different characters and persona solely by working with vocal cords, projection, enunciation, and so on.  If I were to do this professionally, it can be assumed that at some point I will find myself in a recording studio, making it both a work place and a home away from home.

To come to a clearer point, I loved it.  I loved being in the room, I loved hearing what I could do with my voice (which wasn't much at the time, granted, because we weren't there for jolies; we were there to record some Ragnarok), and I loved messing around with Kasey vocally, finding the humor that existed in changing vocal intonation.  I was reminded that, yes, actually, I would like to do this for a living, thank you.

Since then, an idea has been floating around in my brain.  In everything I do, I try to find ways to combine my skills.  I'm a writer who hasn't written; I'm a voice actor who hasn't had his chance yet.  The answer came to me so fast, I had it before I even thought of the question: I want to write and produce a radio play(s).  I want to create a weekly series that people will listen to and enjoy the various things that happen.  I haven't decided whether it will be one continuous story, various stories, or just a comedy act.  You might be able to tell that I am getting some of my inspiration from one Mr. Garrison Keillor.  I won't rip him off entirely, but he certainly is one of the only contemporary inspirations I have.

This summer, I fully plan on spending every week writing this show.  What I want from anyone who reads this blog is ideas or commitment: I'd like this to not just be something for me, but something I produce with my friends.  I've already got a couple of my actor friends interested in this.  If there are any writers interested, I'd like to work with you in hashing out ideas.  Anyone else who has ideas, you are welcome as well.  Please; help me make this something that will never be forgotten and will always be enjoyed.

Random notes of the night: I love finding out that the same composer for the 2009 Star Trek also wrote the music for Ratatouille.  Also, a little girl dropping her popcorn, looking at it, saying "My popcorn is dead," then walking off has so much cuteness embedded in it that it makes me walk off for a little bit from a cute overload.

Thank you for reading.  Love you all.
David

Talking 'bout the weather

Random thought for the week: why is talking about the weather such a negative thing?  Sure, it's cliche, but hell, sometimes cliches are cliches for a reason: they work.


Example: the weather.  Why is it such a conversation starter?  For me, several factors play into it.  One: it's something everyone understands.  Or fails to understand, as the case may be.  Which leads to the second factor: humans like to complain.  At least, I think so.  Seems like most of our topics of conversation are on what we do or don't have, how others don't do things right (government and religon, anyone?  Not to mention co-workers), and so on.  Plus, we add in the final factor that weather is constantly changing, thus making it interesting.  Sure, we can say, "Yeah, that's typical of Seattle" but if that's the case, how are we always so damned surprised or annoyed when it rains for the fifth time that week?


And that's all I got.

Support

So it's time for me to go LiveJournal on this bitch.

I'm depressed.  It makes sense for a lot of reasons: I'm almost done with college, I'm taking my first really difficult classes in what seems like forever, I have a family history of it, my friends are graduating this year, I'm not sure what I'm going to do after college, I have a lot on my plate at the moment what with 3 classes, 2 plays (one of which is extremely depressing), a job and a partridge in a pear tree, I've had repeated failures even entering the dating world recently, sometimes I miss China...the list goes on.

And yet, the one thing that I know I should do (seek friends out for support), I can't.  Maybe it's because I don't build a lot of friendships in the first place.  Well, at least, not outside of certain spheres.  I like a lot of people and consider myself "friends" with them...but I never seek interaction outside of specific situations like school, work, plays, etc.  It's the way I am; I make no apologies.  But you'd think I'd be able to call up some of my closest friends (or hell, even my ROOMMATES whom I do see on a regular basis) and say, "I'm feeling depressed.  Can you help me?"

Is it because I'm independent?  Do I want to fix all my problems on my own?  Or is it because, as per my usual manner, I don't like imposing on people if not absolutely necessary?  Not sure.  All I know is, I am uncomfortable asking for help in situations like this.

Then here's the fun thing: if I'm not comfortable expressing my feelings in this manner, why the HELL am I writing about it on a blog, probably one of the most public things a person can ever do?

The answer, as far as I can figure it out, is two-fold.  Despite the internet telling everyone, it doesn't address anyone specifically.  I am, therefore, informing rather than asking for help.  A slight distinction, but my mind apparently is making it.  The second part...there's no dialogue.  It's all me.  I don't have to listen to responses unless someone decides to comment, and even then, I can ignore/erase them at my leisure.  I have control, something that is important right now.

So yeah, there it is.  Thought you should know.

-David

Since I'm not going to do homework tonight

I thought I'd share some things with the internet.

In the last two weeks, I've had the privilege of working with one Mr. Stewart Stern, screenwriter of works such as Rebel Without a Cause and Sybil.  While I cannot discuss what exactly went on in the classroom because of a promise I made at the beginning of the quarter about keeping it a safe zone, I will say this: in order to make us better writers, Stewart had us look at our own pasts and what troubles we had.  In doing so, I realized something important about myself.

I stopped after my fallout with my father.

Looking back, I can say now that my writing really slowed after I had my quote-unquote "nervous breakdown" when all the feelings I had about my father came rushing to the forefront.  I say quote-unquote because, to be honest, I don't know what constitutes a nervous breakdown.  I do know that I couldn't function for a good long while and I was sitting and crying like I had been told that someone in my family had just died.  Until recently, I felt like I had since moved on from my issues with my dad and it didn't matter anymore.  Then other problems started coming up: I wasn't writing anymore, I didn't have much motivation to do anything, and I started to put more and more emphasis on finding a relationship, even though I was less and less comfortable with being open with people. 

In essence, I was running on autopilot.

I don't know whether realizing this helps anything.  I do know that by recognizing this, I have some new things to try with my writing.  I feel like I've opened up more emotionally.  Hopefully, this will make a difference in the future because, right now, I need to make some serious changes to my life style.  I can't be the person I have been.  I need to grow stronger; otherwise, I think I'll stop growing and just be satisfied with whatever comes easy.  I didn't like that before; I shouldn't like it now.

David

Two days, two interesting experiences

So yesterday, I was at work at the IMAX, waiting for the previous show to get out so I could let the new one inside.  It's my job; it's what I do.  Anyway, about 40 minutes before the show gets out, I hear a couple coming down the ramp.  As I listen, I start to wonder: "Is that Mandarin Chinese?"  Once they reached the bottom, I could see they were indeed Asian, but it would be bad of me to simply assume that they were speaking Mandarin because they looked the part.  After all, they could be any generation of Americans and not know a lick of Chinese.  In fack, the guy had almost no foreign accent.  So I answered their questions and they went off a little bit.  But as they went off, I began to listen again, and they were speaking Mandarin!  So, in an effort to be polite, I asked them what language they were speaking.  They told me Mandarin, and the next thing out of my mouth was the Mandarin phrase, "You can speak Mandarin?"

From there, we had a half an hour conversation almost entirely in Chinese about China, my experiences there, the woman's life there, her job as a teacher of Mandarin, and why I chose to study.

It was glorious.  I understood almost everything.  And really, that's why I took the language. :)

Bad part of China; it has somewhat made me immune to sirens.  I swear, I did not even consciously hear the siren of the ambulance until someone pointed it out to me as I'm halfway into the street with it coming down the hill.  I didn't even notice!  I felt like such a jackass, but I remembered that in Suzhou, we'd often hear sirens, but we could still cross the streets simply because the streets were so full of cars, there was no way for the ambulance to drive through them.

A bit of a reverse culture shock there.

Today was a good day

It really, truely was an excellent day.  Despite drinking last night, I woke up with almost no hangover this morning.  I also got a good night sleep, something I've been lacking a lot recently.  I relaxed at home until I went out later.

Why did I go out later?  Because I had to dress up as the Joker.  OBVIOUSLY.

Okay, sarcasm aside, I did actually dress up as the Joker to help promote the Dark Knight's return to IMAX.  Dressing up like this is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and I finally had the resources and time to do it.  Plus, I got PAID to do it.  It would have been a bit more fun if it hadn't been strictly for advertising...but that's where the future comes in, no?

Quick pic of it

After doing that for a couple of hours, walking up and down downtown and Capitol Hill, I returned home, got all washed up...and went to Video Games Live! with Coran.

HOLY HANNA!  I've been waiting for this concert for FOUR years, people.  FOUR YEARS.  I heard about it right after it left Seattle, and when I chose Seattle U, I thought for sure that it was going to return soon.  I was so very, very, very wrong...very wrong.  You have to understand this about me: I love video game music.  I've been an advocate for it since I was a young child.  This is an event where I am around other people who think the same as me.  I get to listen to an ORCHESTRA play MY kind of music for two hours.  This event was quite possibly made for me.  And it did not disappoint.  It was AMAZING.  My ONLY complaint is that there was no Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross music.  To make up for that, though, they premired their Metroid set, had tons of Final Fantasy music, and, oh yeah, that guy who did the Mario songs blindfolded?  Yeah, he was there on stage as well.  Even more exciting: they said at the end, very quickly, "See you next year!"  Next year?  NEXT YEAR?!  YEEEEE-HAAAAAW!!

Then I came home and played Skies of Arcadia.

Life...is a many splendored thing.

So here's me...in life...trying to write a blog again.

It's so strange that this is more difficult to write in America than to write in China.  I suppose part of it has to do with that "awww, but it's not EXOTIC" thing that we all do.  Also, when you do things that don't seem out of the ordinary, then it doesn't occur to you to write them.  At least, that's my case.

Regardless!  Here's some news for those of you interested.

-I've just dyed my bangs.  It looks very interesting.  I like it so far, but we'll see how everything turns out in the long run.

-I'm working at the IMAX again.  Pretty good, really.  Met the new workers, and most of them are pretty chill.  And hey, I like the job.

-Classes are going well.  One class a day seems to work really well for me.  And I don't mind the longer classes sessions...well, for the most part.

-Oh my goodness, NEW COMPUTER.  I love this thing so very much.  The screen is beautiful, the hard drive is huge, and it just makes me happy.

Um, that's really all for now.  I'll try to get back into the swing of things with this as soon as I can.

-David

Oh. My. Goodness.

Where has this summer gone?

I haven't updated this in a long time for several reasons. One is because I've been too damn busy. Two jobs and a play have really taken it out of me. I'm enjoying having the money, of course, and acting is fulfilling for its own benefit...but that does not change the fact that I'm damn tired. My sleep schedule has also been completely screwed over by all of these events, namely the release of The Dark Knight. Have I said what my two jobs are? One is the same school job I've had all along. The other is working at the IMAX. So yeah. When Dark Knight came out, my life kind of fell apart. Working until 3 AM, getting up again at 8 to go to work/go to a play. Where did my free time get to? Sorry, I'll stop griping. I know other people have it worse; I just wasn't expecting to have everything get all wonky.

The other reason I haven't updated is because when I upgraded my Firefox to 3.0, I lost ALL my bookmarks, including this one. I operate on the internet rather strangely; if it's not in my bookmarks, I don't check it very often, or at all. So when it went poof, I kinda forgot about doing this. Forgive me.

Anywho, to my two friends who check this blog: are we going PAX'ing this year? I want to. I just don't want to go alone.

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

Actually, I'm not going to whine. Well...maybe I will. It will be a whine sandwich. I will start out with the awesome thing, put in the middle a bad thing, and then finish it off with another good thing. The bad will be outbalanced by the good, yet still there, leaving a taste in your mouth that you don't quite know what to do with...okay, I'm done with the food metaphor.

So. I went to Emerald City Comicon. JEEBUS H. CRICK, I wish I had more money/had gone to comic conventions in the past! It was so freaking awesome! Basically, it was a place I belonged. The webcomic artists I saw there (Gabe and Tycho, Jeph Jacques, Sam Logan, Scott Kurtz, Kris Straub, David Kellett, Brad Guigar, Alina Pete, and some others whom I can't remember at the moment) were awesome. I even got Jeph and Sam to draw me! They are my two favorite webcomic artists, so I pretty much almost melted right after that. Oh, and...I bought a Jinxlet. Look it up. I also got plenty of art from everyone; a Sam and Fuzzy poster, couple of limited prints, two T-shirts. I would have spent more if not for my fiscal responsibility.

Now, I'm not a Star Trek fan by any means (though some people seem to think so...), but I also got to see Wil Wheaton. Basically, dude is know for being one of the coolest geeks around. And even though I wasn't sure about that, he seriously is. He's so geeky because he has these fanboyisms that get the better of him, but he's so...proud of it, that you can't help but admire him. Basically, now I want to grow up to be him (did I mention he's a writer as well?).

Now for the bad: Caitlin. My ex girlfriend. If you don't know the story, I'll make it short. She broke up with me on April 1st (aka, April Fool's Day), saying that we were moving too fast (we had known each other for 4 years), while the real reason was to be open to date someone she had only known for a week (though she denied it at the time and still denies it, I believe). Oh, and to top it all off: SHE DID THIS ALL OVER A MYSPACE MESSAGE. Can you say "cowardly"?

Now, although I might give the appearance of a guy who is perfectly comfortable with himself, I'm really not. I have major self-confidence issues, especially when dating. So when this all went down, I went down...hard. It's taken me until just a month or so ago to really build up my confidence not only to the point where I was before Caitlin but above even that. I'm keeping all my options open at this point in time concerning the dating world, and I like it a lot. I feel like I'm finally a nice guy who won't settle and is not always doing the chasing.

Back to the present. Tuesday night. I'm on MSN, talking with some friends, when all of a sudden, an IM from an unknown source pops up. Except...it's not that unknown. It's one that I had deleted almost a year ago. Caitlin was trying to talk to me again.

All my doubts about myself, everything that happened, it all came rushing back to me. All the pain and anger and everything else. Here was a girl I let close to my heart, only to have her hurt it, and she was contacting me for the first time in a year, saying she "missed our friendship" and that she felt bad for what she did.

I basically said as little as I could, waited until she got off-line, and then called my mom and proceeded to have a panic attack. I was crying, I was cursing, I was feeling bad about myself...I was broken, and all it took was this stupid IM screen. Was I really that weak?

It took me the rest of the night to calm down again. I kept talking with my friends over the internet, and they all essentially told me two things. 1) I was better than her and I needed to tell her to go away forever. 2) She was probably trying to get back into the relationship (something I had suspected as well). So after I came to a spot that I could finally be stable, I wrote her a Facebook message saying she should never contact me again. I really wanted to call her and tell her that so I wasn't as bad as her with her freakin' Myspace breakup, but I deleted her number, and in no way wanted to try and talk with her long enough to get it again.

So that was the bad news. Now for the other good news.

I HAVE AN APARTMENT!

Coran, Clair, and I just (as of two hours ago) signed the lease for our totally awesome two bedroom apartment. I. Am. So. STOKED.

And now I run out of words. I'll have more later, I promise!

Universe Man, Universe Man, Size of the entire universe Man

Blogging...blog blog blogging...

Well, I'm trying to think of what's new in life. It doesn't seem as if there is much. I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do with this freaking hurt neck that is preventing me from doing much of anything, especially swing (which is bad considering we perform in less than a week!). I had my Chinese midterm today. I didn't do absolutely fantastic on it, but I tried my best and I think it went over fairly well.

Oh, and I think my sleep schedule is completely messed up. I just took an hour and a half nap which was FABULOUS. Still need to do laundry.... Oh, and my dad emailed me back. So we're on talking terms again. Which is a good thing, I hope. We'll see how it goes.

Sorry, no deep or profound thoughts in this little ditty. And I STILL need to get my picture taken for this. And I REALLY want to write a review of Iron Man...but I'm going to wait until I see it again. Because I am going to see it again...oh yes....

Huzzah!

Got my test back today from Wednesday; got a B+ on it! For not studying, that is pretty much teh shizz, I tell ya.

This weekend is going to be interesting, though. I realized today that I have a lot of things to do before next week if I want to get in all my info on time for study abroad. It's hard when you are dealing with depression amongst other things to remember the little stuff, but I'm sure I will get it done; I always do, somehow. ;)

Anywho, someone send me a shout out! Let me know you're reading these things. Also, if anyone wants to discuss a Legend of Zelda fanfic with me, I have the basic idea, but I need to discuss with some people before I can write some more on it. So talk with me, please!

I'll try to post some works and stuff here soon...although I still prefer deviantArt for that...

I had a dream

No, I'm not Martin Luther King, Jr., and I don't profess to be. I really had a dream that's made me think.

In my dream, there was some circumstance where I was at an event (presumably unknowingly) where my father was speaking publicly. Now, if you know anything about me, then you know my father and I have been estranged for a period of about 3 years now (and if you didn't know that before, you know it now). So as my father was speaking, he made an obvious point of reconciliation while looking at me. I mean, looking me dead in the eye, saying words about needing to forgive and everything else, and seeming very sincere about it.

My reaction was the interesting part. I was basically screaming in his face, telling him no, that I didn't want to. I also ran away (although I turned into Sonic the Hedgehog to do so, so I question the validity of this part of the dream...). Yet when I woke, I felt like I should. I think it's at least partially the result of going on that yoga retreat this last weekend. I've been adopting the philosophy of, "Whatever will be will be," and part of that has been realizing I can't control other people; if I do, then I just add stress to my life. It's much better (and this is where the yoga comes in) for my karma to just let slide the things I can't change, accept the things as they are, and work on forgiveness toward others.

I can't, though. I can't forgive him. Not yet, at least. I can say, "Dad, I want you back in my life," or, "Can we talk about what's happened between us?" But I cannot forgive the man. If I said I could, I'd be lying to myself and to him, which isn't going to do anyone any good.

I guess I'll take baby steps and see how that works out. I might even do it this weekend. And if it doesn't work, then I'm right where I am currently, for better or worse.

Hopefully I don't turn into a blue spiky animal in the process, though....

The sun is a mass of...something or other.

Oh lookie, I'm blogging again! Huzzah!

So my mood has increased ten-fold. "How?" you might ask. "Easy!" I might say. "With the power of Sunny-D...without the D!" Seriously, though, the sun is a wonder I should really get reacquaint myself with. If I feel like playing a video game, I should pack up my DS and go to the nearest grassy knoll, sit my behind down, and get sun AND gaming done! Two birds, one ray of light!

I've also forgotten how nice it is to read outside. Oh, what a joy that is. But this makes me think: maybe my town of choice shouldn't be one that is infamous for its excessive falling water condensation.

...nah....

Took my Chinese test today. I totally didn't study for it, so I probably did pretty badly (but better than you'd think, considering how little I studied), but eh. I don't care. I'll do better for the next one. I had no motivation to do anything for it, no matter how hard I tried, so I let it slide. Que sera sera, or however you spell that; "What will be, will be." That's the philosophy I've been living by recently, and it's easing the stress quite well.

I'm sure I'll have more to say. Wednesdays are usually my busiest days, and today's no exception...except (ha, how fun it is to say that!) tomorrow I don't have to do anything. Well, I do, but it's not for classes, which, again, eases the amount of pressure on me. I might actually be able to get a shower in here somewhere as well; that'd be nice.

An act of writing is an act of writing, I suppose...

I used to blog a lot on Facebook and Myspace, but eventually, I realized that Myspace wasn't worth the time or effort I had given it thus far, nor would it be worth it in the future. Facebook hasn't been much better; the only reason I've stayed on there is it has been stable as another source of networking and communication since I can see email addresses and phone numbers, should the person in question give me that information (which happens nine times out of ten).

I've wanted to start a review blog for movies, but I've realized that I simply do not have the time to do that in addition to my duties as a blogger for the Broadway Hour and as a student at college. I could do it, I suppose, but my piece of mind will not allow me to do that because it would add to the stress that I cannot seem to rid myself of.

My friend, the Col., asked me to join him and our other friend, Jones, in a project combining poetry, photography, and general blogging. Now, I cannot promise I will do the first two since my poetry is something I like to keep close and I almost never take photos, but the idea of keeping in touch with these individuals and letting them know how I'm doing seems like a good idea. I may even write story ideas that have not come to full fruition yet because I am not sure what to do with them quite and I want some help.

And, I'll admit, it feels good to keep a journal again. I have trouble with the paper and pen ones since I always lose them, and eventually, this may turn into my China study abroad blog. But anyway I look at this, it seems like it's non-commital and it'll give me a way to express myself.

再见!