Huzzah!

Got my test back today from Wednesday; got a B+ on it! For not studying, that is pretty much teh shizz, I tell ya.

This weekend is going to be interesting, though. I realized today that I have a lot of things to do before next week if I want to get in all my info on time for study abroad. It's hard when you are dealing with depression amongst other things to remember the little stuff, but I'm sure I will get it done; I always do, somehow. ;)

Anywho, someone send me a shout out! Let me know you're reading these things. Also, if anyone wants to discuss a Legend of Zelda fanfic with me, I have the basic idea, but I need to discuss with some people before I can write some more on it. So talk with me, please!

I'll try to post some works and stuff here soon...although I still prefer deviantArt for that...

I had a dream

No, I'm not Martin Luther King, Jr., and I don't profess to be. I really had a dream that's made me think.

In my dream, there was some circumstance where I was at an event (presumably unknowingly) where my father was speaking publicly. Now, if you know anything about me, then you know my father and I have been estranged for a period of about 3 years now (and if you didn't know that before, you know it now). So as my father was speaking, he made an obvious point of reconciliation while looking at me. I mean, looking me dead in the eye, saying words about needing to forgive and everything else, and seeming very sincere about it.

My reaction was the interesting part. I was basically screaming in his face, telling him no, that I didn't want to. I also ran away (although I turned into Sonic the Hedgehog to do so, so I question the validity of this part of the dream...). Yet when I woke, I felt like I should. I think it's at least partially the result of going on that yoga retreat this last weekend. I've been adopting the philosophy of, "Whatever will be will be," and part of that has been realizing I can't control other people; if I do, then I just add stress to my life. It's much better (and this is where the yoga comes in) for my karma to just let slide the things I can't change, accept the things as they are, and work on forgiveness toward others.

I can't, though. I can't forgive him. Not yet, at least. I can say, "Dad, I want you back in my life," or, "Can we talk about what's happened between us?" But I cannot forgive the man. If I said I could, I'd be lying to myself and to him, which isn't going to do anyone any good.

I guess I'll take baby steps and see how that works out. I might even do it this weekend. And if it doesn't work, then I'm right where I am currently, for better or worse.

Hopefully I don't turn into a blue spiky animal in the process, though....

The sun is a mass of...something or other.

Oh lookie, I'm blogging again! Huzzah!

So my mood has increased ten-fold. "How?" you might ask. "Easy!" I might say. "With the power of Sunny-D...without the D!" Seriously, though, the sun is a wonder I should really get reacquaint myself with. If I feel like playing a video game, I should pack up my DS and go to the nearest grassy knoll, sit my behind down, and get sun AND gaming done! Two birds, one ray of light!

I've also forgotten how nice it is to read outside. Oh, what a joy that is. But this makes me think: maybe my town of choice shouldn't be one that is infamous for its excessive falling water condensation.

...nah....

Took my Chinese test today. I totally didn't study for it, so I probably did pretty badly (but better than you'd think, considering how little I studied), but eh. I don't care. I'll do better for the next one. I had no motivation to do anything for it, no matter how hard I tried, so I let it slide. Que sera sera, or however you spell that; "What will be, will be." That's the philosophy I've been living by recently, and it's easing the stress quite well.

I'm sure I'll have more to say. Wednesdays are usually my busiest days, and today's no exception...except (ha, how fun it is to say that!) tomorrow I don't have to do anything. Well, I do, but it's not for classes, which, again, eases the amount of pressure on me. I might actually be able to get a shower in here somewhere as well; that'd be nice.

An act of writing is an act of writing, I suppose...

I used to blog a lot on Facebook and Myspace, but eventually, I realized that Myspace wasn't worth the time or effort I had given it thus far, nor would it be worth it in the future. Facebook hasn't been much better; the only reason I've stayed on there is it has been stable as another source of networking and communication since I can see email addresses and phone numbers, should the person in question give me that information (which happens nine times out of ten).

I've wanted to start a review blog for movies, but I've realized that I simply do not have the time to do that in addition to my duties as a blogger for the Broadway Hour and as a student at college. I could do it, I suppose, but my piece of mind will not allow me to do that because it would add to the stress that I cannot seem to rid myself of.

My friend, the Col., asked me to join him and our other friend, Jones, in a project combining poetry, photography, and general blogging. Now, I cannot promise I will do the first two since my poetry is something I like to keep close and I almost never take photos, but the idea of keeping in touch with these individuals and letting them know how I'm doing seems like a good idea. I may even write story ideas that have not come to full fruition yet because I am not sure what to do with them quite and I want some help.

And, I'll admit, it feels good to keep a journal again. I have trouble with the paper and pen ones since I always lose them, and eventually, this may turn into my China study abroad blog. But anyway I look at this, it seems like it's non-commital and it'll give me a way to express myself.

再见!