Since I'm not going to do homework tonight

I thought I'd share some things with the internet.

In the last two weeks, I've had the privilege of working with one Mr. Stewart Stern, screenwriter of works such as Rebel Without a Cause and Sybil.  While I cannot discuss what exactly went on in the classroom because of a promise I made at the beginning of the quarter about keeping it a safe zone, I will say this: in order to make us better writers, Stewart had us look at our own pasts and what troubles we had.  In doing so, I realized something important about myself.

I stopped after my fallout with my father.

Looking back, I can say now that my writing really slowed after I had my quote-unquote "nervous breakdown" when all the feelings I had about my father came rushing to the forefront.  I say quote-unquote because, to be honest, I don't know what constitutes a nervous breakdown.  I do know that I couldn't function for a good long while and I was sitting and crying like I had been told that someone in my family had just died.  Until recently, I felt like I had since moved on from my issues with my dad and it didn't matter anymore.  Then other problems started coming up: I wasn't writing anymore, I didn't have much motivation to do anything, and I started to put more and more emphasis on finding a relationship, even though I was less and less comfortable with being open with people. 

In essence, I was running on autopilot.

I don't know whether realizing this helps anything.  I do know that by recognizing this, I have some new things to try with my writing.  I feel like I've opened up more emotionally.  Hopefully, this will make a difference in the future because, right now, I need to make some serious changes to my life style.  I can't be the person I have been.  I need to grow stronger; otherwise, I think I'll stop growing and just be satisfied with whatever comes easy.  I didn't like that before; I shouldn't like it now.

David