Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

Actually, I'm not going to whine. Well...maybe I will. It will be a whine sandwich. I will start out with the awesome thing, put in the middle a bad thing, and then finish it off with another good thing. The bad will be outbalanced by the good, yet still there, leaving a taste in your mouth that you don't quite know what to do with...okay, I'm done with the food metaphor.

So. I went to Emerald City Comicon. JEEBUS H. CRICK, I wish I had more money/had gone to comic conventions in the past! It was so freaking awesome! Basically, it was a place I belonged. The webcomic artists I saw there (Gabe and Tycho, Jeph Jacques, Sam Logan, Scott Kurtz, Kris Straub, David Kellett, Brad Guigar, Alina Pete, and some others whom I can't remember at the moment) were awesome. I even got Jeph and Sam to draw me! They are my two favorite webcomic artists, so I pretty much almost melted right after that. Oh, and...I bought a Jinxlet. Look it up. I also got plenty of art from everyone; a Sam and Fuzzy poster, couple of limited prints, two T-shirts. I would have spent more if not for my fiscal responsibility.

Now, I'm not a Star Trek fan by any means (though some people seem to think so...), but I also got to see Wil Wheaton. Basically, dude is know for being one of the coolest geeks around. And even though I wasn't sure about that, he seriously is. He's so geeky because he has these fanboyisms that get the better of him, but he's so...proud of it, that you can't help but admire him. Basically, now I want to grow up to be him (did I mention he's a writer as well?).

Now for the bad: Caitlin. My ex girlfriend. If you don't know the story, I'll make it short. She broke up with me on April 1st (aka, April Fool's Day), saying that we were moving too fast (we had known each other for 4 years), while the real reason was to be open to date someone she had only known for a week (though she denied it at the time and still denies it, I believe). Oh, and to top it all off: SHE DID THIS ALL OVER A MYSPACE MESSAGE. Can you say "cowardly"?

Now, although I might give the appearance of a guy who is perfectly comfortable with himself, I'm really not. I have major self-confidence issues, especially when dating. So when this all went down, I went down...hard. It's taken me until just a month or so ago to really build up my confidence not only to the point where I was before Caitlin but above even that. I'm keeping all my options open at this point in time concerning the dating world, and I like it a lot. I feel like I'm finally a nice guy who won't settle and is not always doing the chasing.

Back to the present. Tuesday night. I'm on MSN, talking with some friends, when all of a sudden, an IM from an unknown source pops up. Except...it's not that unknown. It's one that I had deleted almost a year ago. Caitlin was trying to talk to me again.

All my doubts about myself, everything that happened, it all came rushing back to me. All the pain and anger and everything else. Here was a girl I let close to my heart, only to have her hurt it, and she was contacting me for the first time in a year, saying she "missed our friendship" and that she felt bad for what she did.

I basically said as little as I could, waited until she got off-line, and then called my mom and proceeded to have a panic attack. I was crying, I was cursing, I was feeling bad about myself...I was broken, and all it took was this stupid IM screen. Was I really that weak?

It took me the rest of the night to calm down again. I kept talking with my friends over the internet, and they all essentially told me two things. 1) I was better than her and I needed to tell her to go away forever. 2) She was probably trying to get back into the relationship (something I had suspected as well). So after I came to a spot that I could finally be stable, I wrote her a Facebook message saying she should never contact me again. I really wanted to call her and tell her that so I wasn't as bad as her with her freakin' Myspace breakup, but I deleted her number, and in no way wanted to try and talk with her long enough to get it again.

So that was the bad news. Now for the other good news.

I HAVE AN APARTMENT!

Coran, Clair, and I just (as of two hours ago) signed the lease for our totally awesome two bedroom apartment. I. Am. So. STOKED.

And now I run out of words. I'll have more later, I promise!

Universe Man, Universe Man, Size of the entire universe Man

Blogging...blog blog blogging...

Well, I'm trying to think of what's new in life. It doesn't seem as if there is much. I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do with this freaking hurt neck that is preventing me from doing much of anything, especially swing (which is bad considering we perform in less than a week!). I had my Chinese midterm today. I didn't do absolutely fantastic on it, but I tried my best and I think it went over fairly well.

Oh, and I think my sleep schedule is completely messed up. I just took an hour and a half nap which was FABULOUS. Still need to do laundry.... Oh, and my dad emailed me back. So we're on talking terms again. Which is a good thing, I hope. We'll see how it goes.

Sorry, no deep or profound thoughts in this little ditty. And I STILL need to get my picture taken for this. And I REALLY want to write a review of Iron Man...but I'm going to wait until I see it again. Because I am going to see it again...oh yes....